God's will is exactly what you would desire if you knew all the facts.
i love going to the gathering. i really do. i always come away feeling so refreshed. and still in the past two weeks i have really heard God speak. sometimes it's the music, the song lyrics, the words spoken in a sermon, but God really know how to speak to my heart.
a few weeks ago my mom emailed me and suggested i fill out the application to YAP at barakel this summer. now i filled it out last year and ended up not going b/c i thought we would be getting sasha. of course that ended up not happening so i worked 2 jobs all summer. i didn't really think i should apply again and then back out on them again. i knew i could make almost double as much money working than i could at barakel and i had practically made up my mind to say no. i didn't really committ it to prayer or anything, i just figured that it was the best thing.
but tonight at the gathering my viewpoint totally changed. i was sitting in the pew during communion and there was a cd playing of some hymns being played by a piano. they reminded me of chapel at barakel and how much i love being there and how i'd always wanted to play piano in chapel at barakel. then in tryg's sermon he was speaking out of revelation and recited that part that says "holy holy Lord God almighty, worthy is the Lamb that was slain, highest praises, honor, and glory be unto Your Name!" those are the lyrics to my favorite barakel song. the song that i always want to sing as loud as i can. the song that is a true picture of worship. so i was sitting there during communion thinking about barakel. does God really want me to go? i would be gone a whole summer, the summer that i'd been looking forward to spending with my friends. even as i type this the thought of missing out on a summer with my friends just tears my heart up. i love them so much. they are the thing that i miss most about home. i would give anything for them to be here with me. but they say that we must forsake everything for the cause of Christ. sometimes it's hard, but it's what we have to do.
then i started thinking about money. i knew that even if i worked at barakel for the entire summer, i would never come close to making what i could make if i stayed home. but today in church the pastor talked about just that. he was refering to tithing, but it totally makes sense. test God. just test God. give the matter of your finances over to Him and see how He blesses you. i believe that if i am where God wants me to be that He will provide for my needs, even the financial ones.
it is amazing how comforting it is to spend time with God. i wish i was more dedicated to it. i wish i were better with reading my Bible and committing things to prayer. i know in my head that He can do everything and i know in my head that His will is the best thing there will ever be for my life. but why can't i just trust that? why must i be so stubborn?
i think there are a lot of things that i need to pray about. things that i need to "pray without ceasing" about...
a few weeks ago my mom emailed me and suggested i fill out the application to YAP at barakel this summer. now i filled it out last year and ended up not going b/c i thought we would be getting sasha. of course that ended up not happening so i worked 2 jobs all summer. i didn't really think i should apply again and then back out on them again. i knew i could make almost double as much money working than i could at barakel and i had practically made up my mind to say no. i didn't really committ it to prayer or anything, i just figured that it was the best thing.
but tonight at the gathering my viewpoint totally changed. i was sitting in the pew during communion and there was a cd playing of some hymns being played by a piano. they reminded me of chapel at barakel and how much i love being there and how i'd always wanted to play piano in chapel at barakel. then in tryg's sermon he was speaking out of revelation and recited that part that says "holy holy Lord God almighty, worthy is the Lamb that was slain, highest praises, honor, and glory be unto Your Name!" those are the lyrics to my favorite barakel song. the song that i always want to sing as loud as i can. the song that is a true picture of worship. so i was sitting there during communion thinking about barakel. does God really want me to go? i would be gone a whole summer, the summer that i'd been looking forward to spending with my friends. even as i type this the thought of missing out on a summer with my friends just tears my heart up. i love them so much. they are the thing that i miss most about home. i would give anything for them to be here with me. but they say that we must forsake everything for the cause of Christ. sometimes it's hard, but it's what we have to do.
then i started thinking about money. i knew that even if i worked at barakel for the entire summer, i would never come close to making what i could make if i stayed home. but today in church the pastor talked about just that. he was refering to tithing, but it totally makes sense. test God. just test God. give the matter of your finances over to Him and see how He blesses you. i believe that if i am where God wants me to be that He will provide for my needs, even the financial ones.
it is amazing how comforting it is to spend time with God. i wish i was more dedicated to it. i wish i were better with reading my Bible and committing things to prayer. i know in my head that He can do everything and i know in my head that His will is the best thing there will ever be for my life. but why can't i just trust that? why must i be so stubborn?
i think there are a lot of things that i need to pray about. things that i need to "pray without ceasing" about...
posted by emma | 7:22 PM
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