all i wanna do is give this life to You
just got back from the gathering. i really needed that. it's been a rough week. i've come to several realizations:
1) God is all that i need. ever. in every situation. when i'm sitting alone in my room thinking about how lonely i am and wishing i was home, i need to remember that i don't really NEED any of that. God is more than enough to satisfy my every need. my every need includes close companionship. maybe He is allowing me to go through this difficult lonley time to make me see my need to lean on Him. to go to Him for companionship. to let Him be my best friend.
2) i need to be praying for micaela. to pray that each day she will wake up feeling refreshed and energized. that she will somehow be able to look in the mirror and see herself as beautiful. she may frustrate me and we may differ but she is in need of the Savior. it is my responsibility as a Christian to love her as Christ loves her. to show His love through my actions. it may be difficult but i can see the pain she is in. it breaks my heart to think that she literally has no one to run to with her troubles. some things run so deep that they can only be healed by the living water offered through salvation. i hurt for her when i think of all the pain she is storing up inside her mind and in her heart. i need to pray that i can see past the exterior that frustrates me and look into her heart and love her like Jesus. i also need to pray for kyle. that he will love her with everything he has. that he will be encouraging and uplifting to her. that maybe he will tell her she's beautiful. that he loves her unconditionally.
3) i need to be praying more. i need to be in the Word. the guy who spoke tonight talked about praying and how we can pray "borrowed words" or in other words, pray the scripture back to God. he talked about the psalms and how they are just prayers in poetic form. but i seriously need to sit down DAILY and be IN THE WORD OF GOD. i should just sit down with a pslam and pray it back to God and let Him speak to me through it. let Him tell me what He wants me to pray. sometimes when i am going to sleep i have mental conversations with God and it's kinda nice, but eventually i fall asleep or wander off in thought. but i don't do that as often as i'd like.
4) i need to give my life over to God. and by "life" i mean all aspects of it. my past, my present, and my future. i need to give my past mistakes over to God. my shorcomings, my problems with lying and with pride, my desire to hold grudges against people, to hate them for no reason. i need to give my present situations over to God. my roommate dramas, my lonliness, my desire to places i'm not, my worries about unemployment and summer plans, my schoolwork. it is just a huge heavy burden that i am carrying with me all over campus and i'm sick of it. God deals much better with worries and drama than i do. i also need to give my unknowns, my future to God. this means to seriously talk to Him about my dreams, my aspirations, and all the worries that go along with them and give them all to Him. there is nothing in my heart that He did not put there. He created my gifts and abilities and He gave them to me and i need to find how i can best use them for His glory.
5) i need to be praying about the adoption. i asked my mom for a picture of sasha so i would remember to pray for him. and i do...sometimes. but i really need to be praying for my mom as she does paperwork day in and day out. for the adoption agency in florida (i think...) that they would be able to work well with the russian government. but i do need to be praying for little sasha. that he would be protected from not only the elements of his situation but from the lies of the devil being whispered into his young mind. God holds sasha close in His arms and has the perfect timing for everything under heaven. i need to trust Him on that.
for since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like You, who works for those who wait for Him! -Isaiah 64:4
1) God is all that i need. ever. in every situation. when i'm sitting alone in my room thinking about how lonely i am and wishing i was home, i need to remember that i don't really NEED any of that. God is more than enough to satisfy my every need. my every need includes close companionship. maybe He is allowing me to go through this difficult lonley time to make me see my need to lean on Him. to go to Him for companionship. to let Him be my best friend.
2) i need to be praying for micaela. to pray that each day she will wake up feeling refreshed and energized. that she will somehow be able to look in the mirror and see herself as beautiful. she may frustrate me and we may differ but she is in need of the Savior. it is my responsibility as a Christian to love her as Christ loves her. to show His love through my actions. it may be difficult but i can see the pain she is in. it breaks my heart to think that she literally has no one to run to with her troubles. some things run so deep that they can only be healed by the living water offered through salvation. i hurt for her when i think of all the pain she is storing up inside her mind and in her heart. i need to pray that i can see past the exterior that frustrates me and look into her heart and love her like Jesus. i also need to pray for kyle. that he will love her with everything he has. that he will be encouraging and uplifting to her. that maybe he will tell her she's beautiful. that he loves her unconditionally.
3) i need to be praying more. i need to be in the Word. the guy who spoke tonight talked about praying and how we can pray "borrowed words" or in other words, pray the scripture back to God. he talked about the psalms and how they are just prayers in poetic form. but i seriously need to sit down DAILY and be IN THE WORD OF GOD. i should just sit down with a pslam and pray it back to God and let Him speak to me through it. let Him tell me what He wants me to pray. sometimes when i am going to sleep i have mental conversations with God and it's kinda nice, but eventually i fall asleep or wander off in thought. but i don't do that as often as i'd like.
4) i need to give my life over to God. and by "life" i mean all aspects of it. my past, my present, and my future. i need to give my past mistakes over to God. my shorcomings, my problems with lying and with pride, my desire to hold grudges against people, to hate them for no reason. i need to give my present situations over to God. my roommate dramas, my lonliness, my desire to places i'm not, my worries about unemployment and summer plans, my schoolwork. it is just a huge heavy burden that i am carrying with me all over campus and i'm sick of it. God deals much better with worries and drama than i do. i also need to give my unknowns, my future to God. this means to seriously talk to Him about my dreams, my aspirations, and all the worries that go along with them and give them all to Him. there is nothing in my heart that He did not put there. He created my gifts and abilities and He gave them to me and i need to find how i can best use them for His glory.
5) i need to be praying about the adoption. i asked my mom for a picture of sasha so i would remember to pray for him. and i do...sometimes. but i really need to be praying for my mom as she does paperwork day in and day out. for the adoption agency in florida (i think...) that they would be able to work well with the russian government. but i do need to be praying for little sasha. that he would be protected from not only the elements of his situation but from the lies of the devil being whispered into his young mind. God holds sasha close in His arms and has the perfect timing for everything under heaven. i need to trust Him on that.
for since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like You, who works for those who wait for Him! -Isaiah 64:4
posted by emma | 6:33 PM
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