stick it out

i am at a standstill.
i honestly cannot understand my feelings because they keep changing.
when i am at home, i want home more than anything in the world, but when i get back to school it doesn't really seem so bad...almost appealing.
going home would def be much easier financially. i would have way more opportunity there. but leaving hope would mean missing out on so much. i think the biggest thing would be living with colleen. she is so excited. i am too. i don't want to back out. it isn't fair to her.

how do i discern between my human desires and God's will?
and if God's will is not exactly my first choice, how do i deal?
WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME STEPPING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE???????? it frustrates me to no end. there are things that i wish were easier for me but they are def not because i love my bubble so much.

Lord, i have just a few simple questions.
- where do you want me to be?
- what do you want me to do?
- what does "stick it out" mean?

at this point in time if i had to choose between barakel and hope i would choose barakel. but i do NOT want to come home simply because it is easier and i can teach piano. i want to go home ONLY if that is where God wants me. i do not want to stay at hope simply because i like it here and i don't want to let people down. i want to stay at ho pe ONLY if it is where God wants me.

Lord, show me which way to go......for my earthly eyes are failing me.